Remember that iconic scene in Say Anythingwhen John Cusack shows up to his love interest’s house unannounced and stands under her window with a giant boom box blaring Peter Gabriel? That’s all fine and good in Hollywood, but replicate that in real life and you’ll probably get a restraining order. A big piece of advice for straight guys: Forget everything you’ve seen in the movies. This makes it easier to accept the fact that in the real world, dating is complicated and messy. A silver lining to this pervasive problem is that queer culture isn’t as bogged down by Hollywood clichés about romance and love, since we are so rarely reflected in those cliches.
Gay dating advice first date tv#
Forget ClichésGay representation in popular culture has expanded exponentially in the last few decades, but there is still a dearth of non-heterosexual characters in TV and movies. Even if the ensuing conversation is uncomfortable (and it usually is at least a little bit) you owe it to her to be upfront about what you’re expecting and looking for in a relationship. This requires you to do that big dark scary thing where you think about how you feel - and then articulate those feelings to another human person. If you’re looking for a more committed, long-term relationship, let her know that. Conversely, it’s totally fine if you’re not looking for anything too serious - as long as you let her know from the get-go. One problem I’ve seen in straight relationships is a lack of clarification of both partners wants and expectations from the outset. Of course I’m speaking in general terms here, but if a gay guy just wants to fool around with no strings attached, he’ll usually make that clear from the outset. That online directness has been translated to the real world.
The culture of Grindr is one of directness - guys state exactly what they want, whether it’s serious dating, a casual fling, or a one-time anonymous hookup. (OK, we don't actually say it like that.) Be DirectGrindr has really changed things for my generation (if you’re unfamiliar, Grindr is basically gay Tinder). And while the gay dating world is fraught with its own problems, the truth is, straight guys could learn a thing or two by observing how things are done ~ under the rainbow flag ~ The straight guys who claim to be the biggest casanovas in front of their friends are usually the same guys that women mock or complain about behind their backs. As a gay man, I’ve been in my fair share of boys’ locker rooms and attended my fair share of all-girl slumber parties, so I’ll let you in on a secret: All is not as it seems in the straight dating world. So what dating advice could I possibly give to straight guys? Well, a lot, surprisingly. Meaning, yes, I’ve never had sex with a woman.